Touchy Touchy

I just want to put it out there: yoga people make incredible friends and an incredible community of people to be a part of! I spent my evening last night at a Moksha workshop for hands-on adjustments and I had the best time. Not just because I got to hang out for two hours with some wonderful people that make my insides smile, but also because it was great to share knowledge with other experienced teachers.

Annette and Michelle have a great way of being delightfully inappropriate and funny...because let's face it, hands-on adjustments can be a pretty touchy subject (and yes, pun totally intended). I've had students in class request to get a push on their lower back (sometimes some students ask for that one every time, which gets to be a bit much) and then other students who specifically tell me that they DO NOT want to be touched. With any aspect of teaching, the more you do it, the better you get and the more confident you become with your practice. And then you can become too confident or just not be aware of your own energy while you are teaching. I couldn't help but think of this picture I saw once through the entire workshop:

I pray that while teaching I never do harm and that whatever adjustments I do are either neutral or for my students' benefit.

I also pray that this photo is actually photoshoped...

Oh and if you want to check out the workshop I speak of, it's recorded live and can be found here: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/5793191

Creepy Yoga Girl

I remember reading someone's book report on an Iyengar book (sorry, can't remember what one) that said when you are practicing, you should be so focused that you should not even notice what colour the person next to you is wearing.

Thanks Iyengar.

But the reality is, sometimes I can't help but notice my practice neighbor. Especially when they are doing weird / interesting / noticeable / bizarro things.  Okay, perhaps I haven't turned into a full fledged yoga creeper (aka: Ogden in the picture below) - but those wandering eyes of mine have to smarten up.

I find it challenging (right now) when I am going through the series on my own and the person next to me is on the same pose. If they go a little faster, I get worried that I am taking too long of breaths and then if they are slowing down, I get worried that I am going too fast.

And then I had an AHA moment in the middle of my practice, when I remembered my struggles with doing something awesome and no streamers falling from the sky...if my practice neighbor goes fast or slow or stops or skips a pose ... nothing will happen. The tricky thing is to take that understanding and move it out of just understanding it cognitively and actually practicing it. Good thing I'll be back at it again shortly!

That's Hard!

Backbends this morning - specifically drop backs from tadasana to urdhva dhanurasana brought a lot of stuff up. More than the normal feelings of "am I going to barf?" to "whoah...I all of a sudden want to hide under my mat and cry". I had the insight to tell DR that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Except what I said was: This is hard...to which DR replied...That's just the default now though. You know that. So move past it. If I had the capacity to at that time, I would have done that cool finger snapping thing that people with way more dexterity can pull off...

And this made me wonder why we feel the need to point out that this is hard, when that is clearly obvious. Is it a way for us to say "dude, take pity on me?" or is it more a communication of "look what I am doing? Isn't this worth praise?" - I am feeling good about moving past saying that's hard whenever DR gives me a correction (ie; telling me how to do a pose with alignment or deeper), but to move past needing acknowledgment of my hardcore efforts I think is another story.

For example, sfter this after the backbending episode (which DR was super cool about and then gave me the Cadilliac version of a fully supported backbend...it felt like luxury town), I  rocked out at my sirasana and my half pike version of that pose (what's it called?) - I looked around to see if anyone caught my awesomeness in action...and nobody noticed. Duh. I don't know what I was expecting. Streamers? Balloons? A high five? Someone in the corner saying That's Hard! - but when nobody batted an eye, it reminded me of how I really need to get over myself. I'm not that big of a deal, even if I want to think that I am!

Don't you put it in your mouth...

Every morning, sometimes before I practice, sometimes in the middle of my practice, I say the following words with a room full of other people:

Vande gurunam caranaravinde
Sandarsita svatmasukhave bodhe
Nisreyase jangalikayamane
Samsara halahala mohasantyai

Abahu purusakaram
Sankhacakrasi dharinam
Sahasra sirasam svetam
Pranamami patanjalim
Om

And, even as I write this, I am embarrassed to admit, that for the better part of a year, I had NO CLUE what the heck any of this meant. Ya, I know. This is the internet era...if I want to access information, all I need to do is type something into Google and BOOM, there it is. But for some reason, I never bothered to look this up and went on my merry little way, chating and practicing...practicing and chanting...and then I looked it up and the actual translation was way weirder than what I had imagined! Here's the translation with my commentary:

I bow to the lotus feet of the guru

okay, I can get behind this, although I am a little worried about someone having lotus for feet - how can you do tadasana if you have feet flowers going on?
Who awakens insight into the happiness of pure Being

Score!
Who is the refuge, the jungle physician

What does that even mean...Jungle Phsycian? I'm sure this is one of those cultural context things...next time i am in India, I should ask someone on the street.
Who eliminates the delusion caused by
The poisonous herb of samara (conditioned existence)

 Oh conditioned existence...I'm going to miss you...oh wait, no I'm not...that's the whole point.

I prostrate before the sage Patanjali
Who has thousands of radiant, white heads
(in his form as the divine serpent, Ananta)
and who has, as far as him arms, assumed the form of a man
holding a conch shell (divine sound), a wheel (discuss of light,
representing infinite time) and a sword (discrimination).

Wha? Discuss of light? Why didn't Frank tell me that Patanjali had thousands of radiant white heads? Is Patanjali a white supremest? I'm so confused...oh wait...I know this part coming up...
Om

OOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!

 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you shouldn't put unfamiliar things in your mouth without reading the packaging first...oh ignorance was bliss was nice when ignorance was an option...

The Joys of Distance Learning

While I was doing some project reading this Saturday afternoon, I was reflecting on how challenging these distance learning course projects are. I had a couple of projects from people from the India 2009 training, who are just wrapping up their projects now, who were commenting on the realities of completing their projects amidst being parents, running businesses, teaching full time, going through challenging life situations, and sometimes going to school. I just felt a surge, while reading this projects, of gratitude for the hard work of the people in our community.

These projects are hard work. They are designed to be challenging. But seeing students hand in project after project, while gracefully balancing the other challenges of their life, never ceases to inspire me.

Thank you for your work, teacher trainees, your effort and dedication to this practice does not go un-noticed (by me, or by your students)!

Minding the mind

I sat in the nook today, after coffee and a little reading from Diana Winston's Wide Awake. Half-day of mindfulness this morning before heading off to a conference for school.

I started with some hardcore loving kindness towards myself (may you be at peace, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering) and found it really useful (and hilarious) to label the bubbles that pushed loving kindness out of the big sky view of my mind: "thinking" (I wonder how great it will be when I can finally do headstand without the wall), "planning' (Yah, I should put my chocolate covered almonds into that glass jar and buy them in bulk next time), and "thinking" again (It's so great that I have this nook to sit in).

It made me laugh everytime I put a label on it. Once I labeled it and then realized that I was off in lala-land it floored me how I had no awareness to my thinking, planning, drifting-ness until well into the thought.

And then I started to wonder: what is doing that labeling? It was almost as if it was a separate part of the mind that came in and said "Ah! Gotcha! Thinking". And I know that this separation of my mind into different parts isn't quite right, but are those thoughts and plans that happen unconsciously what I usually think I AM and is the "real" I AM the part that is doing the noticing? Is there really an I AM? Or are they all just parts of the same illusion?

Help?!

I am really enjoying the book that I picked up for my last month's project (Wide Awake by Diane Winston). I know it seems a little silly, but because the book is geared towards teenagers, everything written is so accessible and actually really entertaining / interesting to read. I sat down for 10 minutes with the book and sat in my living room.

This idea of being in the present moment because this is all there is and sitting for the sake of sitting, doing the dishes for the sake of doing the dishes, or walking for sake of walking (instead of wishing it was all over so I could do something more interesting) was a good thing to be reminded of this morning. THIS is a great moment. I want to be awake for that.