On Teaching

I took a year off from teaching yoga.

I was in school full-time (recently finished and love the sweet taste of freedom) and knew that it was either my personal practice or teaching that had to go...and personal practice won out. But in the time between actually teaching and now, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking in regards to what makes a good yoga teacher.










And while I can't help but watch this video over and over and laugh my face off, it really highlights for me how easy it is to be a terrifyingly awful yoga teacher. Maybe it is because it is too easy these days to become a teacher of yoga, maybe it is because there are just so many students hungry for yoga that they will take to anyone willing to share some poses with them, or maybe we just don't know what a good teacher is and because of that lack of modeling, have no idea how to blossom into something incredible ourselves.

In my job I get to read projects from new yoga teachers and am able to have some great conversations about what it means to become a yoga teacher (quite possibly the best job in the world). I read quite often the comment (or a variation of the comment): "I was resisting getting adjusted because I am a yoga teacher and I should be doing it right", which always makes me wonder...

What is it about being teacher implies that we are no longer a student?

What is it about being a teacher that suggests we actually know what we are doing?

What is it about being a teacher that feeds our own egos in this practice?

One of my favourite people, who runs a yoga studio in Uptown Toronto, commented on the number of students new to Ashtanga who call in to the studio saying "I'm really advanced and am worried that this practice is too easy...should I still come?" - something about this makes me wonder: do truly advanced students / teachers think of themselves as advanced? Who was it that said it is the wise man that knows he's the fool and the fool who thinks he's a wise man...

Maybe I'll never go back to teaching and maybe I will - but I know that I am always a student first and am a complete and utter fool about most things. 

Revelation of Kindness

I had a great revelation during my practice the other day...

My lower back was really stiff over the weekend and when I would walk, it actually felt like I was walking around with another (less mobile) person's spine. A very weird experience to actually WANT to hunch over because it relieve pain. And I skipped practice on Monday to "rest" I told myself.

And then I went back to practice on Tuesday, not promising myself anything, and to my surprise - my spine felt GLORIOUS after practice.  

Okay, maybe this picture of a "happy spine" is a little more creepy that it is illustrative, but regardless, it made me realize that sometimes we practice because we feel good and we want to celebrate that...but we should practice too when we feel like utter crap in order to start to feel better for ourselves. It's easy to be nice to your body when you feel great about it and what it can do, it's a real practice to be kind and loving and gentle with your body when you want nothing more than to hang out on the couch all day and moan about life.

I remember something someone told me when I worked as a camp counselor: the kids who are the hardest to love, need to most love. I am starting to realize that this applies to ourselves too: the days when we are the hardest to love are the days when we need to take care of ourselves the most. 

Everything is Okay

My practice was a little wonky today. In supta kurmasana, I felt a little POP in my spine. It's happened before and it's not really a huge deal...but in my head the second it happens, I'm convinced that I've slipped a disk or something. Kind of like after a Moksha class, when you are sweating like a crazy person and the humidity is high, my brain thinks that a saber-tooth tiger is going to attack me and goes into freak out mode. Silly brain...everything is okay.

More and more, my goals in yoga are to be able to continue practicing when I am an old woman:

And maybe my goals are also to wear snappy pink suits like this woman...maybe that's the secret to long-term wellness: snappy pink suits. I'm going to investigate this one.

The Effects of Whipping Cream

I have been trying to include more vegan flirtations in my diet. I used to think of myself as a "flexi-vegan": a person who really really thought that not eating dairy and eggs (in addition to her usual non-eating of meat) was an awesome idea and preferred to bake this way, but that when going home for the holidays, or around a really sexy looking piece of brie, wouldn't put up much of a fight.

But I am starting to have second thoughts about this.

We went home to my Mother's house for Easter dinner this weekend and had two scrumptious meals with my family. It was delightful and joyful and a I nearly died a little in my heart when I heard that the lasagna had four cups of whipping cream in it. That's some serious cream! I had these flash backs to a book I read (or a documentary I watched) about either Baskin or Robins, who had a heart attack at 50 due to all the ice creamy goodness he ate through his life. Nothing like a little paranoia to push you into eating better.

At this same dinner, we met Edison the cat. It might be hard to tell from these pictures, but Edison is definitely bigger than when I last saw him. Don't tell Edison, but he's looking like he ate another cat. Maybe he's been getting into the whipping cream...

Can you guess which one is Edison?

The Routine

I have been thinking a little about how important it is to establish routines in order to make a daily practice work...the following are some of the things which I love to do which 100% impedes the making of routines:

staying up until lord-knows-when
eating random things at random hours of the day (when you first get up / right before sleep)
loathing the idea of getting up at the same time everyday
loathing the idea of doing the same thing everyday
loathing the idea of routines (okay that one might be big...)

And yet, many things in my life require a certain amount of routines (school, yoga, eating vegan) - so finding out how to make those routines work is always interesting. I read a great big that Mo introduced me to called It Ain't Meat, Babe which just had this awesome post about how to organize yourself to do your weekly grocery run with all the meals in plan. Okay, loving the idea of grocery planning is definitely a huge sign of my own dork status, but it made me realize you have to infuse your routine (ie; eating nightly) with creative, change and fun. So even though I strive to practice daily, the time of day may change, the place may change, and maybe even sometimes the actual yoga that I am doing may have to change (although for a little while at least, that hasn't been the case). I'll let you know how the whole planning-my-meals thing goes!

An Elephant Never Forgets

I have had this fascination with Babar since I was a kid and it was the only thing that had my name associated with it (Queen Celeste). So when I was in my practice this morning and totally left out purvottasana, I couldn't help but think that if I were an elephant doing yoga, this would never happen (an elephant never forgets). And then I must have been thinking about forgetting poses while I was practicing and then totally forgot to do upavista konasana.

Those yoga elephants in Babar really seem to have their stuff together and their lives sorted out. I bet if I hung around those dudes more, their rememberfulness (yes...rememberfulness) might rub off on me a little bit.

Plus it totally looks like they are wearing either white ballet flats or white tennis socks to practice. Maybe this is their secret...

Poetry in the Lanes

I was walking to school this morning and decided to take a different route. There are not that many different ways to get to school - it's one turn and then a long straight 4 blocks...but there is a laneway that I decided to explore...have you heard of it? BpNichol Lane they call it and it is just about as cute as button.

I actually wanted to explore the lane way to see this poem that was printed in the concrete:

After realizing how many amazing things exist in my neighborhood, I started to realize how sometimes getting into one of those ruts of the mind can prevent us from finding poetry in the lane ways. How switching thing up a bit: time of practice, day of practice, kind of practice, place where you mat goes, what you think about while you practice, etc, can really open things up for you in new directions.

We have to stay on our toes, but then again, if you are always staying on your toes, finding the poetry in the lane way may not feel that revelatory.

Thanks BpNichol!