That's Hard!

Backbends this morning - specifically drop backs from tadasana to urdhva dhanurasana brought a lot of stuff up. More than the normal feelings of "am I going to barf?" to "whoah...I all of a sudden want to hide under my mat and cry". I had the insight to tell DR that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Except what I said was: This is hard...to which DR replied...That's just the default now though. You know that. So move past it. If I had the capacity to at that time, I would have done that cool finger snapping thing that people with way more dexterity can pull off...

And this made me wonder why we feel the need to point out that this is hard, when that is clearly obvious. Is it a way for us to say "dude, take pity on me?" or is it more a communication of "look what I am doing? Isn't this worth praise?" - I am feeling good about moving past saying that's hard whenever DR gives me a correction (ie; telling me how to do a pose with alignment or deeper), but to move past needing acknowledgment of my hardcore efforts I think is another story.

For example, sfter this after the backbending episode (which DR was super cool about and then gave me the Cadilliac version of a fully supported backbend...it felt like luxury town), I  rocked out at my sirasana and my half pike version of that pose (what's it called?) - I looked around to see if anyone caught my awesomeness in action...and nobody noticed. Duh. I don't know what I was expecting. Streamers? Balloons? A high five? Someone in the corner saying That's Hard! - but when nobody batted an eye, it reminded me of how I really need to get over myself. I'm not that big of a deal, even if I want to think that I am!